Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
