i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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