Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
