Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
