What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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