You can't motorboat a personality
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
