Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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