she woke up with a sticky ear
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
