i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
