You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
