I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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