drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
