this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
