Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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