Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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