Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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