What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
