Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
