I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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