u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
