A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
