just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
