I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I want to be your penis for a week.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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