she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
