That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
