Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
