Duck Duck Cougar?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
