the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
