Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
