More tranny stories later!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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