and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
