I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The adults are the big ones right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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