and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
