so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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