Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
