Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
