he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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