Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
