sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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