She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
