Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
