i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
