I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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