remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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