The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
