I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
