Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
time to smoke my breakfast
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize