I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
