we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
