the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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