I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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